Welcome To The Bitchery

The terrible roommates are gone! (mostly)

They still have to return their keys and get the rest of their enormous shoe collection (not kidding, I would estimate she has over 100 pairs of shoes), but most of their shit is gone and they aren't staying the night anymore!

I didn't even realize how much their presence was affecting me until they were gone. It was like a giant breath of fresh air swept through the house for the first time in more than a year. I immediately started cleaning and reorganizing my kitchen and my bathroom, and one of my new roommates-to-be helped me and made incredible blueberry walnut lavender scones. I kept thinking of that song from South Pacific: "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair," and thinking to myself, "I'm gonna wash those dicks right out of my house!"

They woke me up at 9am on Sunday to demand that I move my car, and they broke a glass in my driveway and didn't clean it up, and I dreamed that they took my favorite green lamp out of the living room (they didn't, but I woke up angry). But they're gone!!!!!

Share This Story

Get our newsletter