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The Tinder Chronicles: Clearly I am doing this wrong

Not much to report this week because I spent the majority of Saturday and Sunday with Jon Snow and basically Greyjoy is smitten.

We’ve been texting all week almost non stop. I haven’t been this excited to look at my phone since... I don’t even know! But things like this happen:


And it went on for much much longer. He’s just the right amount of weird like me while also being adequately different. I haven’t smiled so much in ages! I’m smiling now!

He has a membership to the LA zoo so we went there Saturday afternoon. I got a kick out of how he says otter, like “o’er” but I consoled him with the fact that I pronounce it like “odder” so we’re both wrong and we both can’t pronounce T’s right. The zoo was mostly talking and looking at the wayward animal baking in the California sun. But mostly talking. So much talking! I could talk to him all day! This never happens!

We went back to his place after and I made him watch Wet Hot American Summer because it’s hilarious, and the rest I will not disclose because I am a lady/disembodied penis but I will say Saturday afternoon turned into Sunday night. He’s just so open about everything! And I feel so completely comfortable around him. Ugh, I’m gushing! I never gush! How am I gushing over someone I met last week?? Where is the catch here??? Where are the hidden cameras? My luck is never this good.


So I guess what I’m saying is, I haven’t been on Tinder this week because I might head over heels for someone and he might be head over heels for me. This is fucking crazy and I am enjoying every minute of it! I am clearly doing this Tinder thing wrong! I don’t think you’re supposed to meet your fucking soul mate on a hook up app, yet somehow I very well might have. And he’s British. AND HE’S BRITISH. I might be the happiest anthropomophic dick in the land!


If ever there was a time for arms wide open gif it was now.


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