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The Tinder Chronicles: The Datening

Illustration for article titled The Tinder Chronicles: The Datening

I met with THREE Tinder dates and I’m NOT MURDERED. I call that a win.

First date was Thursday, met the Musician who lives with his parents for sushi, parking was difficult but such is the LA struggle. Sushi was good, I’ll probably go back to that place. When I told him I was ready to go after work he said he had to shower and get ready. I hate when people do that. It’s not enraging but I gave him a good estimate about when I get home from work, that’s an estimate to be ready. That aside, he’s a nice guy, but talks alot. Which isn’t a bad thing but I think maybe there was just no sparks and he probably felt that too because I haven’t heard from him. C’est la Greyjoy...


Second date was with Wine Guy. I really liked chatting with him. We went to the Farmers Market at The Grove and got gumbo, then we went to his place. He’s from LA but went to school in Chicago, works in film, can hold a conversation about DC comics past “I loved the Batman animated series” and I asked him what the other side of Tinder looks like, it’s mostly clevage heavy pictures and girls that look like part time models (this is LA afterall) I told him about the headless abs and that surprised him. Also, turns out he’s a bit of a feminist! I rarely mention this to people (mostly to see where they stand) so it was neat that he felt confident enough to take a strong stand. We made out a little, he was nice about asking and confirming what I did and didn’t want to do. tbh my leg makes things complicated so I kept it at kissing. He seemed really surprised that he was comfortable with me and was very cuddly. But I get the vibe that he’s looking for a serious relationship and I’m not sure where I stand. I think I’ll continue seeing him, mostly for the banter.

And lastly was Jon Snow, who is actually British! Don’t give me that look, you would have been skeptical too, I’m pretty sure there’s at least one genius out there who thinks a fake accent will get him laid. He’s from Yorkshire and says The Inbetweeners is more realistic than Skins, this makes me feel a lot better because, who’s teenage years were anything like Skins? We bonded over accents, because my Chicago accent is one of my prized possessions. And I can do a lot of fake accents, he said my British was okay, it’s really not my strongest one though. He thinks Caitriona Balfe’s accent on Outlander sounds fake, which I’ve never heard before! We met at a tiki bar by the way, and there was a hula hoop contest. We talked for hours. We bonded over our love of swearing and all the words they have for vagina, cooter is the best one we have over here. We had a running joke about university, to me it sounds more prestigious and I’m more reluctant to say it, but college to them is like high school. We have a lot of similar tastes in TV shows, probably because I’ve seen a lot of British TV, but he watches The Fall! We might meet again and go to the zoo since he has a membership and we talked about koalas because I read something about how they get chlamydia. We talked about a lot more things, I don’t think there was one long moment of silence. More banter! I’m really surprised by this. We had a small kiss at the end of the night, but I think he was concerned I just wanted to hook up with a guy with an accent, and although accents are awesome, I don’t need to check a box on any list, I just want to hang out with people I can enjoy myself with, and unless he was secretly having a terrible time, I’d definitely want to see him again. And yeah I’ll admit the accent is cute!


That’s what I’ve got so far, I’m pleasantly suprised with this outcome! There’s a strong chance I may never hear from one or all of them again but I enjoyed my Saturday and I’m feeling optimistic. It’s very rare I find people I can hold a conversation with where we click well and can pull random shit out and keep talking and it was nice to have that with two new people, this feels like the premise of a romantic comedy. Maybe I should write this!

I’m a bit tired and I haven’t been swiping too much, mostly because I don’t want to overwhelm myself, but here’s your obligatory Creed gif:


Previously On:

Or my links don’t work... kinjaaaaaaaaa!

Day one:
Part two:


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