Honestly, UHG does not deserve to be Hiddleston in any gif whatsoever, but all I could think when reading Vol. 15 was:
Update #15 was so tantalizing that people were on tenterhooks all day waiting to enjoy and people DELURKED to comment on the crazy.
The first of this morning's revelations are tied to an utterly adorable parenting move/tradition in the Beaver household. It involves a Solution jar, which I first envisioned as an actual glass jar that looked like this, but a LOT smaller.
We record each and every solution she comes up with throughout the year, and then read them aloud together on New Year's Eve.
Every damn time I see Bumble describe her house and parenting, I get all squiggly inside. Their house is like Little House on the Prairie, but with burrito bowls instead of baked beans, Tom Hiddleston instead of Almanzo, and no genocidal racism.
BTW Bumble, if you end up making an actual jar, use this an an image. Everyone will want to fill it with . . solutions
Expert sleuthing by Mr.Beaver revealed that UHG had been all up in the Solution Envelope and opened up personal stuff on the high shelf. It reminds me of a jealousy-inclined friend who was in a LDR and took to counting the condoms in her BF's condom jar. One day she started counting only to discover a note: "Will you just stop snooping through my shit?"
Had we only known UHG wasn't too busy
working doing MEB, that she would have time to snoop around, I would have suggested that the Beavers put some false "Solutions" to the UHG problem for her to find: "Remember to wash UHG's towels with the pet soap." "make sure she can't see the itching powder on the sheets."
But it doesn't stop there. It turns out that, while UHG might be doing some "Pick-up doctoring" (like Pick-up basketball, but more likely to result in harm), she MADE UP ONE OF THE PLACES WHERE SHE IS ALLEGEDLY WORKING. Which means that the internship is a LIE. Which solves the mystery of why she had no place to stay. You can go to the comments to find people's theories on what's been going on, but I'm calling it for category #12: Internship was a ruse. The winner is REMEDIOS VAROS.
I know, I know, a lot of people said that it was all a lie, but either you just casually said on it in the comments or you told me and I forgot. If you know/thought you had this guess in the pool, let me know. If your name is before or next to RV's on my list, I'll update with more winners.
BumbleBeaver tells us that Mr.Beaver was tempted to follow UHG around one day to see what she was doing—which made me realize that we missed the Best GT meetup ever. A group of intrepid Oh Honey No readers could have taken turns following her and then met for delicious Indian food to share results.
The grilling of SmallBeaver seems to me like UHG was trying to find a "weakness" so that she could brag about her kids' skill in that one area. Since we are close to the end, I'm going declare category #10: kid competition for BELLE FEMME who said that the comparisons would be on 8 October. BF, stay a little humble.
Also, you scaring me girl.
Although Bumble has already assured us that he will not win, props to Mr. Disconnected for showing us he is as gifted with letters as he is with gifs.
Inspired by a found $60, BumbleBeaver came up with a "test" that involved offering UHG money to take a cab to the airport. All the tests I've taken since high school have involved me giving some testing service money up front, but maybe that's another one of those little US-Canadian differences.
If there are any Canadian MDs or other medical professionals on GT, do tell us whether it means anything that UHG has no listed speciality. I'm guessing it's because "mischief, deceits and lies" wasn't on the list.
Inspired by today's comments, I think I'll have a little surprise which I hope to post tomorrow, but I got life things to do now. Silent Update: List of pool winners here.
YOU GUYS, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WHEN UHG IS GONE?? This shit is better than Scandal.