Well, friends, today is a day of joy. The UHG has moved well into Phase II of her resentment toward me and is escalating the Touching Of Mr. Beaver.

Yesterday morning she left the house without saying a single word to any of us - it was quite strange, and I suspected I hadn't heard the last... of something. She spoke to me about it privately last night via text and as it turns out, she's been feeling like I'm a terrible host and is incredibly hurt that we aren't doing more together while she is here! Errrrr...

I reiterated how busy I am - it's an easy out, I know - but pretty handy because it's 100% true. I have definitely reached the point where I would like to just let my internal monologue rip, "GOD THERE ARE PARAMECIA WITH MORE SELF-AWARENESS THAN YOU, GROW A FLAGELLUM AND SEE THE WORLD" however, she's (theoretically) here for another two weeks and I need to preserve the peace for the sake of the kid and Mr. Beaver. It's sorted out for now, but wouldn't it be fun if Bad Host became a theme?

And she's boldly touching Mr. Beaver again, but this time it is in a purely non-medical capacity. I wasn't there, but he tells me she was patting his back at one point last night when they were speaking, which I can't even picture being normal in any context beyond some sort of hopelessly-outdated choking maneuver. She has also begun to call him "Mr. [LastName]" - which also just seems... weird and creepy.

I know she's only attempting to ingratiate herself with him... But I must say it would be extremely funny if it was... something else.