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The Unwanted Houseguest, Volume 8 (update #2)

Oh, it's a day full of news!

MarriedExBoyfriend is definitely back in the picture, but I have no details beyond the following evidence as it unfolded:

1) Thursday night's mysterious activities which were not mentioned or discussed.

2) Friday evening's mysterious activities which were also not mentioned or discussed, but involved a late-night shower. She went to her brother's place out of town Saturday morning so I only have second-hand stories for that night: but upon her return she went on and on about her brother's friends, who wouldn't take her medical advice (haha) and were just SO WRONG about everything.


3) Her Sunday afternoon study session went 5 hours longer than expected, and precipitated another late-night shower. Must have been a sweaty session.

4) Monday morning confession that the UHG and MEB can't help themselves: it's true love and they cannot stay away from each other. To which I said, "That is your business - but don't bring it here," effectively ending the conversation. Ghoulishly, I'd love to know what happened to the Phantom (?) Fetus, but I'm not opening that door if I can help it.


Other hilarious details to be noted on this fine morning:

1) Last night, the UHG arrived home with takeout dumplings. Quite generously, she offered me one to taste, and it was certainly delicious. Unfortunately, giving food a favourable review in front of the UHG seems to lead to the force-feeding of said food, as she instantly produced a bowl and heaped SIX dumplings into it and pushed it toward me. Er... thanks, but I was planning to have dinner with Mr. Beaver in about ten minutes and we already HAD A PLAN FOR THAT.


2) This morning, Mr. Beaver most unwisely coughed in front of the UHG. She immediately flew over to him, clamped a hand on the back of his neck and felt his forehead with her other hand. Years ago, we had to teach SmallBeaver (SmallLoki? I don't know about this Hallowe'en stuff) to say, "DO NOT TOUCH MY BODY" when she was at Montessori - the kids all wanted to hug her non-stop, and it was making her pretty uncomfortable. I think Mr. Beaver should have whipped that strategy out this morning, and I might employ it for all the weird hugging - that's still happening.

3) The UGH decided not to go to work today, because she MIGHT feel a migraine coming on. I get migraines myself, so I get it - I actually get a really weird kind where I not only can't hold my head up properly and go kind of blind, but sometimes I have trouble finding the right word for things and say stuff like, "Thank yikes" instead of "Thank you." I have recently added a card in my wallet to pass to people that explains this phenomenon, because it looks like I'm having a stroke. But never, in all the years of my pretty extreme migraines, have I skipped work because one MIGHT happen.


But I guess I'm not Queen of the Land Where Everything Is About Me. I suspect the Dr./God Complex probably explains most of this stuff - but it's still baffling to witness.

4) UPDATE: OH DUDES. I'm so sorry - I forgot this one until just now. Apparently, while she was at her brother's place, she determined that she might not be allergic to Westies, so she texted her husband and told him. In spite of their incredibly precarious marriage, he apparently immediately swung into action, researching breeders. And she heard it's bad to only get one dog... so they are now planning to get TWO. Geniuses, the pair of them.


5) Annnnnd UPDATE #2. She was just downstairs cooking. Apparently, it was lunch for SmallBeaver and I - burritos. A nice gesture, except it's 2.30PM and we had already eaten while she was sleeping. And the burritos are chicken - SmallBeaver has been a vegetarian for 18 months - a fact which has been discussed numerous times.

Have at it, kids, and happy Monday!

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