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Illustration for article titled ​The week with the dog

Gizmo is my first dog. I'd been around dogs my whole life, but this was the first time I had one of my own. Here are the things I've learned in my first week.

  • If you tell an SPCA person that your mother never let you get a dog as a child, they will act as though you survived some unspeakable atrocity. They were horrified.
  • The SPCA people totally check out who's linking to their page, and they totally ended up reading about me freaking out for a solid week on Groupthink.
  • Just because the dog does not bark at the adoption event does not mean the dog will never bark. He may be a barkmaster. He may end up barking every time the furnace turns on.
  • It does not matter if a dog is six years old. He may not know what stairs are. There is a good chance he'll stare at you like you're a crazy person every time you go up or down them.
  • It is surprisingly difficult to explain to a dog how to go down the stairs, especially if they do not speak english.
  • Apparently dogs will like a specific kind of toy. He hasn't touched anything but a stuffed alligator that squeaks.
  • When the dog likes a toy, he will try to murder it.
  • Shaved miniature schnauzers have hilarious bat ears.
  • Shaved miniature schnauzers feel like the softest bunnies ever.
  • The first day, the dog may not eat anything. Oh, you may think, he's not going to be a big eater.
  • The second day, he will eat everything in sight, then pretend to be starving.
  • Not every dog understands what a dog bed is.
  • Buying a more expensive bed does not fix this.
  • Adopting an older dog is awesome. He's potty-trained. He's great with kids. He's smart enough not to hurt himself. He loved us the second he realized that he was home.

Go team dog!

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