I’ve gotten to the part of wedding planning where my mother is aghast at the cost and trying to convince me to research “other possibilities.” Because she had a $2k wedding for 300 people and her mother fed them all single handedly and the only thing they spent real money on was the string quartet 35 YEARS AGO.

I’ve basically taken the “because I don’t want to and if we can’t afford what we want we’ll just elope and nobody gets to come so there.” Or the “because this is what is important to us and if we can’t have it we’ll wait 10 years until we can and until then we’ll continue to live in sin just to spite you” approach but neither has really shut her up yet.

I say “renting a venue costs $2k alone” she says “do it in someone’s backyard.” I say “then i’ll have to rent ALL the tables and chairs and decor and that will cost me even more!” So she says “I work at a church that has tables and chairs.” I say “I don’t want to put my friends and family to work, my wedding is not going to be a chore for anybody unless they’re getting paid.” And it just keeps going on and on and on.

For the record, I am not and will not be asking her to pay for ANY of this. So she is basically just asking for me to put her to work and feed her sub par food in a cold backyard with uncomfortable church chairs to sit in instead of the incredible 4 course meal in a beautiful venue that will require no work on her part that I have planned. I DONT GET IT.