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Theatre Etiquette and Insults UPDATE

I'm updating this for some important facts I should mention:

* I told the Stage Manager on opening weekend that I was uncomfortable with him hanging around our dressing room and backstage. She never got around to talking with him. I was going to say myself, was working up the courage (I'm not one for confrontation, especially with the guy in charge), but then ultimately decided to let it go. Whatever, only one other actor I've talked to has a problem with him there as well, so I was going to learn to live it. Then last night happened.

* There are 2 producers for this show... the director and another actor, who are also dating. Yup, so they produce, date, and one directs and the other acts. She's actually really nice and great, but it just makes cc'ing her on the email a wee bit scarier.



Last night, backstage at the theatre, my director was watching a scene behind the curtains with some other guy I've never seen before. I like to get ready for a scene early, so I asked him to "excuse me" as I tried to move into a spot to be able to watch the stage in anticipation for my entrance. This was a couple minutes earlier than I need to enter, but that's my routine. In a non-whispering volume, he said, "Can't you find somewhere else to fucking stand?" and went back to watching the show.

... What.

I had to stand off to the side with tears in my eyes while he watched.

Now. Let it be known that directors, or anyone, are not supposed to be backstage. That's for actors and crew, no one else. He hangs out in our dressing room and stands backstage and runs around like he's part of the show. Directors are supposed to watch from the audience, maybe pop into the dressing room for hugs and well wishes, but they're absolutely not supposed to stand in the entrance and watch a show and then block an actor from doing so.


I was furious. Everyone told me I needed to talk with him. So at intermission, I asked to speak to him privately in the hall... he was quite hesitant to go with me, but he did. I explained that I found that completely insulting to me as an actor, and that it was disrespectful to be told to wait while he watched the show between the curtains. It's my routine to prepare for a scene early, and he threw me off. He's also an actor, so shouldn't he know how insulting that is? His response was "Well, couldn't you find somewhere else to fucking stand?"

Yes, he cursed at me. He told me that, basically, my prep for a scene is less of a priority than his needing to watch it.


The conversation ended with me saying "I don't know what else to say," and him responding, "Neither do I" and walking away.

I'm sorry, but there's no way I was in the wrong. I was in tears. The second Act was difficult. He was still hanging around the dressing room and I had to keep passing him.


So now I'm writing an email explaining how incredibly rude and insulting his actions were last night. I'm cc'ing my producer and stage manager and trying to stay professional while also letting him know that inappropriate he was.

I know I'm super sensitive when people get mad at me... but this has left me not wanting to return to the theatre tonight, and that's the worst feeling.

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