There is a diluted vinegar and water mixture everywhere that isn't covered by baking soda. In some places, the vinegar and baking soda overlap and are having a reaction that causes the third grader who dwells in my bowels (and types ridiculously long sentences) to chortle with maniacal glee.

In the actual third grade, we watered some plants with vinegar solution to simulate the effects of acid rain. I may or may not have sprayed down the living room while cackling, "Acid rain, motha-fuckas!" (I may or may not have also hit my orchids. Sorry, orchids! Please don't die!)

I have the overwhelming urge to run onto the balcony in rubber gloves and crazy hair and yell to the guys mowing our lawn, "Because: SCIENCE!"

FluterDude expressly asked me not to do all these things until he could price upholestery cleaning but I do not care. GROUPTHINKERS DO IT BETTER. I do not know if it has killed the scent of urine because all I can smell is vinegar. Who cares if it's killed the urine? IT'S KILLED MY SENSE OF SMELL.

MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!