The talented Alexandra Petri in an Op Ed for the Washington Post:

Pundits talk about other events the way they have talked about the ‘blue wave’

In Disappointment to Female Voters, 19th Amendment Passes Only Once

Moses Parts Red Sea in Half, Not Thirds

Etc.

I came up with some of my own:

  • Jesus takes three days to rise from the dead
  • Captain Sully fails to complete flight (reference)
  • Malala Yousafzai has to repeat 8th grade