It's 3 something in the morning, I have two more hours of work to do, and things are chaffing my ass. These are the things:

1. Brogrammers who treat their women clients like shit, write them terrible code, and then leave them hanging, so they have to hire me. (The last part I'm okay with.)

2. Allergies in January. My entire state is colder than a Yeti's nose, what allergen can live in this shit?

3. My neighbors, for leaving their gorgeous dog outside when it's 5 degrees out. I've almost taken that dog. I will let you all know if I need an alibi.

4. That one client, who has had me change the background image on their site fourteen times, the last one because it was "too shmoopy." I do not know what this word means.

5. That same client, because Comic Sans.

6. That other client, who is now six months late on a mighty big invoice.

7. That tech job recruiter, who won't send me any jobs that aren't database (I don't know database) because lady coders "only do database." Fuck right off, Chucky McTesticles, or I will drop all your tables right here.