DRAWN TO SCALE. This spider has been my reminder in recent weeks that I should be medicated.

First, I found it in my blankets whilst changing the bedding. Boyfriend trapped it under a cup and threw it over the fence into Asshole Neighbor's yard.

Next, I panicked because I am waiting for it to come back. Like.... Actively waiting, and thinking about it, every single day.

Last night, my horrible brain said to me: hey, I bet that spider laid eggs in your blankets. You better check how many spider eggs spiders lay at a time and how long it takes for them to hatch and how many baby spiders will be in your blankets, soon.

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And then my fucked up, FUCKED UP brain said: hey, you sleep naked a lot. BETTER CHECK YOUR VAG FOR SPIDERS.

At which point I said, you know what, brain, that is fucked up and I really would appreciate it if you would stop being such a goddamn dick about this. And then I hyperventilated myself to sleep.

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If I could afford medication I would totally get back on it because this obsessive irrational fear shit is exhausting.

Do you guys have any funny/horrible spider stories? Or maybe irrational fear stories. I know I'm not the only absurd person on the planet.