My top ten favorite things my now ex-Roommate left me -

1. $2,000 poorer. Thanks for not paying rent the last month and all the late fee charges over the past year!

2. Used sex toys. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously!!

3. Her boyfriend's moldy underwear. Hidden in the kitchen closet, in the bag that holds the grocery bags. Just... why?

4. KJ jelly smeared all over my grandmother's antique bed table.

5. Rancid food.

6. Crazy crazy text messages, explaining how she has 30 days after she moved out to get all her stuff.

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7. Several Redbox DVDs. Which I didn't find for weeks.

8. Spilled hairdye all over the bathroom.

9. Condoms.

10. And finally, an strong intense desire never to have a roommate again.

(Seriously. SERIOUSLY. Who leaves used sex toys in an apartment?? And then demands to come back to collect??)

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