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When guys decide that they've accrued enough feminist points that they can make sexist jokes without being accused of being genuinely sexist. "It's funny because I don't really believe sexist things!" GO FUCK YOURSELF, BRO.

For example, this happened in my apartment earlier today:

I'm talking to "Jill" (not her real name) about how one of the children I nanny talks back to me and wondering how best to handle this productively. Jill wanders off and is not present for the rest of the exchange.


"Jack" (not his real name): "Slap him in the mouth!" (he's joking here, but it's super lame so I roll my eyes)

Me: "I don't think people will pay you to watch their children if you hit them."

Jack: "Hey, it works with girlfriends!"

*record screech*

Me: *glares* "NO. Not funny."

Jack: "It was pretty funny."

Me: "No, not funny."

I left the room after that, not having the energy to really get into this with him. He grew up reading all the same Tamora Pierce books I grew up reading. He believes in at least the basic tenets of feminism. He understands why Nice Guys (tm) are a problem, doesn't think women owe him anything, and has never told a girl to make him a sandwich. And because of all this, he thinks that when other guys say sexist stuff it's sexist, but when he says sexist stuff it's just funny, because the joke is that he isn't genuinely sexist? I guess it's sort of ironic sexism? Maybe these jokes would work coming from someone who had experienced sexism, but when he tells them, I just hear a privileged white guy talking shit about women and it bums me out. Too lazy to look up the link but I've complained about this guy on GT before and everyone told me to stop being friends with him—our lease is up really soon and then I'll be out of here, but for now I am stuck.


Anyway, I feel like this is a common problem. People feel like they are exempt from accusations of sexism (or racism, etc.) because they vote Democrat and claim to be enlightened. But it doesn't make saying terrible things okay!

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