I just want to punch this guy in the face, or yell at him that there’s a good chance that if he doesn’t actually do something, he’s headed for another divorce.
The whole thing basically boils down to: we’re conditioned from when we’re young for women to take on more invisible/emotional labour. And it’s just so haaaaaaard to change, so I don’t. But I try sometimes.
He clearly wants a cookie for having started to do more around the house, but to me he comes off as a colossal asshole. You know you should do more, SO DO MORE!! As the saying goes, YOU MUST BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
There are some sections that I agree with: parents and families need more social support for things to get better - affordable daycare, parental leave, more flexibility from employers. Also, that societally we need to de-stigmatize stay-at-home Dad’s and make them feel more welcome in the “mommy groups” (maybe re-name them “parent groups”).
But I see so many women just getting on with it and so many men wanting a pat on the back for doing a little more than they used to. It’s articles like these that remind me that relationships can be so much work for women and that not being married is not always such a bad thing.
It’s the end of the article that really gets me:
If I’m being honest, though, I wouldn’t suggest mothers hold out hope that they’ll see a dramatic transformation for themselves—for both genders, these habits are hard to break. But for the sake of my son, I’d like to at least keep making enough improvements over the next decade so he will notice the difference, witness a happier balance and carry that forward into his own relationships. Ideally, my wife will eventually feel like she can let go of some of that mental burden, trust I’ll pick up the slack and spend more carefree moments playing on the floor with her boy.
Until that day arrives, though, I’m still doing a ton of stuff around here, OK? And also, I’m sorry for everything.
Your wife will feel like she can let go of that mental burden when you show that you are going to actually do shit and not half ass it. Again, BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE. Your fucking apology at the end is lame. And makes me want to smack you upside the head. YOU DO NOT GET A PAT ON THE BACK FOR BEING A GROWN ADULT.
Men are cancelled, just cancel men for the next 5 years.