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This election season is shortening my lifespan.

In case anyone wants to read about my state’s debate featuring fucking David Duke. Trigger warning: Louisiana.

In a twist of irony, the senate debate featuring a fucking Klan wizard happened at a HBCU in New Orleans. There were a lot of protests. They were shut down. Same old story.

Louisiana’s senate races go to instant runoff. So, they don’t do a primary, and everyone goes head to head and the top two vote-getters have a runoff in a few weeks. When I early voted the other day, there were 24 people on the ticket. I had studied up weeks before and then half an hour before we went to vote, I had to ask my husband to remind me who I’d said I was voting for because all the names were swimming around in my head. Voting for The Democrat in Louisiana can still land you with a pro-gun, anti-choice, anti-Obamacare piece of shit person, so you can never be too careful.


So, if you’re a liberal scumbag, the strategy HAS to be, Who is the liberal candidate most likely to get to that second position? Otherwise you can end up voting between two conservatives, or libertarians, or wienerdogs*, or Klan members. If it’s a liberal, most likely, it’s a very conservative liberal, unfortunately. For these reasons, I voted for Foster Campbell because he’s the most liberal-ish who has a chance to win.

This can be good in some ways: The Republicans end up dividing between a lot more people, consolidating the Democrats behind fewer, and it also seems kind of more like a pure democracy (if you think that’s a good thing). However, then you have a situation where David Duke might only need 7% of the vote or so to get to the runoff. Then it’s just him vs. one other person. If that person ended up being a Democrat, god help us all. I will personally burn the state down for all of you. Anecdotally, I don’t see a lot of support for him, but I’m not everywhere. He’s also one of the more recognizable names on the ballot.

*and who could choose between two wienerdogs?!

ETA: if the apocalypse is nigh and Duke gets into the runoff, I’ll be sure to let you know which horrible opponent of his you can donate to, so you can keep him out of YOUR senate.

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