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My 2L years is OVER. My exams are OVER. This has in many ways been one of the hardest years of my life. Going to a top 25 law schools means that I live in a fucking pressure cooker. Going to a law school who's policy is "hey, we may not be the highest ranked but at least we're the hardest" totally does not mesh with my penchant for always thinking that whatever I do, nothing is enough.

I have really bad ADD. For most of my life, I've just been able to get by because I'm pretty smart and I can just work a little harder than everyone else and be fine. Until I surrounded myself with fucking machines. It's like a constant contest in this place about who can stay in the library the longest. Who can deprive themselves of the most sleep. I have not been winning.

Add on top of that every single day someone tells me about how law grads can't get jobs, I'm going to be crushed by my debt, etc. etc.


Oh, and I've had some pretty serious physical and mental health issues to fight this year.

But then there's the fact that I met and fell in love with a wonderful man. A man I am pretty sure I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I think the biggest reason I am glad this year is over is because he will now get to see me in a better light. He loves me so much and so far he's witnessed me at my most basket-casiest.

Case in point. Sunday morning (the day before my last exam) I completely broke under all the pressure. He texted me to say good morning and for some reason I just started laying into him about how he didn't understand how hard law school is and he wasn't being supportive enough and my friend's bf sent her flowers for exams and he didn't do anything for me. I was crying so hard he could barely understand me (thankfully since I was laying down some CRAZY TALK). So what did he do? He got in the car and drove an hour to me. He held me for 20 minutes, then packed me up and walked me to the library. He spend the day cleaning and packing my apt so I wouldn't have to do as much after my exam. He made me dinner, made love to me, and then left so I could study some more and sleep. Then he came back the next day after my exam and spent 7 hours with me packing, moving, and cleaning so I could get as far away from school as quickly as possible.

My 2L year is over, it's been hell, but my boyfriend is amazing and hopefully now that some of the pressure is gone he will get a little less of the crazy me and a little more of the woman he deserves.

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