Open Period-Tracking app:

"Two Days Late"


Quick inventory:

Breasts?

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Nope, not tender.

Emotions?

Are we overly sensitive?

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Overly irritable?

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Overly giddy?

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Cramping?

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Spotting?

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Fatigue?

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Last had sex?

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Sex? Ummmmm..... two years? Long enough that I'm not sure I remember how? I'm sure it involves two people, possibly a penis.... yeah, I think we're safe.