I know this is GT and not Oppositelock, but I thought you guys might also be amused. Lotus of Portland has a hilarious write up for one of their 2013 Lotus Evoras:

Okay, so we know you are considering a Porsche. We have nothing personal against Porsches, even though some might consider them a direct competitor to this brand new 2013 Lotus Evora 2+2 in Aspen White. There is nothing wrong with considering Porsches. They are fantastic vehicles built and engineered by smart Germans with very precise tools.

Granted, this Evora does have the Tech Pack with navigation, backup camera, the Premium Pack with heated seats, the Sport Pack, Star Shield, and a fantastic extruded aluminum chassis that gives arguably the best ride experience and response of any car in its class, or perhaps ever. And it looks totally wicked.

But that's not for everyone. Lots of people like their redesigns to look exactly the same since 1963. Like the 911! Or is it the Cayman? Kinda hard to tell the two apart... Porsches are also excellent tools to teach proper driving technique! Enter a corner a little too hot and then brake? The car will educate you that that was a very wrong thing to do by going off the track, backwards.

The Evora doesn't do that. Because it's not a Porsche.

There's one for each of the cars on their New Cars page but this one was the best. I'd love a job doing snarky write-ups for a dealership; it seems like this staffer was having fun.