I’m at a loss as to what to do with Buster. I’m supposed to be keeping him as still as possible, but he flatly will not poop until he’s walked a couple of blocks. He can control it — he always goes very quickly when it rains because he hates rain so much — but otherwise he just refuses.

I’ve put him on a strict eating and walking regimen. He eats at the same time, twice a day. We “walk” (i.e., I carry him to the area I’m trying to get him to go) at the same time, ~3o minutes after he eats. I’m been praising him and giving him a treat every time he poops. I spent the weekend literally spending hours standing outside, waiting for him to cave, and he wouldn’t. After 36 hours with no pooping I broke down and walked him for 2 blocks, and he pooped right away.

Last time I tried to wait it out he pooped massively all over his crate while I was gone and then hurt himself throwing himself around the crate because he was so upset.

If he doesn’t heal with rest care, and clearly he’s not going to because I can’t keep him still enough, the next step is an MRI and possibly surgery. But surgery is pointless if I can’t keep him from walking, because he needs to be very still to heal. He can’t be still if he poops outside, and he can’t be still if he poops in his crate, and I don’t know what the fuck to do.

And just to make things extra fun, Sophie is jealous that Buster is getting so much attention, so she’s decided she’s no longer house trained and is scared of the grass. And it’s not just in my apartment — my neighbor is watching them during the day because Buster can’t stay alone in his crate all day, and the first thing Sophie did this morning was pee all over her rug.

I’m stressed to the point that I asked my shrink to prescribe me something to calm me down, but she said she doesn’t believe in Xanax or anything equivalent, so the best she can do is put me on an anti-depressant that might help my anxiety starting in 4-6 weeks but in the meantime will make me nauseous all the time and give me insomnia. Because that’s GREAT for stress.

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This is seriously going to drive me to drink.