I've been debating this with lesser mortals all month. My stance is that this song is the single greatest sonic artifact ever to exist in the history of ever. All that evolution bullshit from ~100,000 years or so were more or less leading up to that moment in 1984 when Sir Bob Geldof released this into the world:

And... people try to argue with me and I just don't understand. This song is so amazingly awful that it ricochets back around and lands on AWESOME.

As a YoungPiglet who was basically raised on MTV, this song always marked the end of yet another year (well, starting in 1984, anyway), another chance to do it again and make it better. There is literally everything, YET NOTHING, wrong with this song.

I'm JEWISH, and this is still my favorite song of all time, in any genre. I feel like it will outlive us all and transcend the bonds of time itself. When I hear the opening chords, I am instantly 9 years old again, parked on that hideous sofa, in front of that old TV, singing along for all I'm worth.