I just can't even right now.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/19/us/…

The wonderful Jim Jordan of Ohio (hey y'all!) had this to say:

“Even the best coaches in the N.F.L. only script out the first two series of plays,” said Representative Jim Jordan, Republican of Ohio, when asked how the speaker would manage the sequence of events. “They don’t script the whole game. We’ve got to play the game. We’ve got to see how it all shapes out.”

This isn't football you fucking fuck! You are gambling with American's livelihoods! This isn't some bet with your frat boys from college about who is going to win the game! Fucking douchebag fuck!