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This is why I can't have nice things.

Illustration for article titled This is why I cant have nice things.

When I still worked at a bookstore, my boss and I attended an event (that I accidentally inspired - long story) at the publisher/store Melville House where they gave out this tote bag (and I fucking love tote bags, guys) with a famous line from Melville's Bartleby, The Scrivener.

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Um, it would be cool if strangers on the street stopped shouting at me, "I say that to my husband all the time!" or "That's my girlfriend's favorite line!" or the worst, "How can I convince you?" I generally give a nod and weak smile. Fucking hell, people. Trust that I don't give a shit about your sex life and I'm not going to fuck you because of a bad joke about my tote bag. Get it together.

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