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This Is Why I Suck At Dating

My lovely older sister and my brother in law are trying to hook me up with a friend of theirs. He seems like a perfectly nice guy, he’s handsome and he lives in my city. Here’s how I’m screwing it up.

Well firstly, they didn’t tell me they were trying to hook me up with anyone before the wedding so I was totally unprepared to be hit on by someone. Apparently they had been talking to him about me but I had zero info on him or knowledge of the hook up. I didn’t screw that part up.


So anyway, this is just pure TamTams being a derp when guys flirt.

  1. He approached me during the money dance. As the maid of honor, I was holding the money bag. He said something about how he’d heard a lot about me. I, in my infinite honesty and rudeness, said I’d never heard anything about him. I also said, “who are you?” He said, “I’m Batman” and scampered off to dance with my sister, the bride.
  2. Later, he was at the bar. I toddled up to get another drink. He said something flirty to me that I honestly don’t remember. I was probably rude in response. Then a chick wanders up and he says something about how she changed his life. I assume she’s his wife or girlfriend because guys who are unavailable hit on me all the time. I promptly grab my drink and bounce. Turns out, she was the wife of one of his frat brothers. He is very single and ready to mingle. He was trying to mingle with me.
  3. My sister suggested that I send him a casual message on Facebook since he expressed interest in meeting up with me even after my wedding derpitude. I asked her to help me draft a message because I am horrible at that sort of thing. She wrote me a nice message to send him. I copied and pasted it into a message to him with a few tweaks. But of course, in my haste to just send it because I was a bit nervous, I left the first part of the message from my sister attached which read: Hey [nickname for TamTams], here’s like a general something to send, if you want. And then the copied message.

So he basically knows that I needed help from someone to send him a message. I can’t unsend the message, of course. I sent it hours ago so it would be weird to say something about it now. He hasn’t seen it yet because he apparently doesn’t check his Facebook messages often. Blurgh.

This, ladies and gents, is why I am terrible at the dating thing and usually don’t bother. I am Liz Lemon.

Illustration for article titled This Is Why I Suck At Dating

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