We went shopping and did a little summertime 'spring' cleaning and I thought I let you guise take a look-see. So who wants to peek inside my cabinets and fridge?

Let's do this!

Yes, we have a fuckton of pasta, rice and beans. And yes, HATERS, I buy pasta sauce in the jar because sometimes I don't want to stand around nursing a pot of slowly stewing tomatoes and garlic for 5 hours. And that is a sad, lonely, ashamed jar of Ragu Old World Sauce peeking out there. The other sauces don't talk to him. It's sort of like a Lyndsay Lohan in Mean Girls thing there.

Oh what's that bro, you want to know if I have a potato masher? LOL potato ricer dude. For my fingerling potatoes. FINGERLING. Yeaaaaaaa.

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So this is the Wine Colding Box. I have some wine. Some more wine. Some beer. And yes that is a 2-litre bottle of cheap cooking wine. It's supposed to last about 6 months. It'll be gone by Friday. And then I forget what the hell all that green stuff is. Well, whatever it is, it will end up soaked in wine eventually, one way or another.

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Spice. Whore. For real. I do not fuck around when it comes to spices. I go on special trips to peruse spice importers. I make my own curry. AND my own garam masala. Want some cardamom? I got two kinds. In ground and whole pods. Whatever. Go home, Lawry's Seasoning Salt, you are drunk.

White. Peppercorn. Whole Star of Anise. Cumin SEED. I TOLD YOU I WASN'T PLAYING.

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(Also, LOL @ 'rubbed' sage hahahahaha. I am 12.)

And here we have some more wine, of course. Yes, I made this table/kitchen isle. Yes, that'a turquoise Dutch oven. You want to touch it? Go ahead. You can touch it. And you can try out my mortar and pestle. I know you want to. What's that? Is that 'olive oil'. LOL no boo—that's avocado oil.

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Oh and did somebody say 'olive oil'? BOOM.

Oil and vinegar CABINET. I got more oil than a Jersey Shore reunion special. Sure, I could tell you that the dude who owns the specialty oil importers here knows me so well by now that he knows my name, but really that's NBD—-he knows when my dog's birthday is.

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With all this fun stuff here in my kitchen, I think you know now what must be done.