Why are we required to date if we don’t want to die alone? Why are there so many pictures on OKCupid of guys with weaponry and/or bathroom fixtures?

I’m going to die alone. At least my dog won’t let them near my body. At least he will love me enough for that. Searching OKC for an acceptable date makes me feel much better about all the choices that got me to where I am: alone and fulfilled by work. And not laid.



I see the flaw now. Okay, OKC, show me your bows with their arrows and your automatic rifles! And I’ll be on the lookout for the toilets in the bathrooms with *perfect profile pic lighting,* too. I’m not going to like it, but I’ll do it.