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This... This is a thing, guys.

In the aftermath of the Evolution/Creation debate last night (which I didn't watch, but spoiler alert creationism is not a real science thing), and what might be a concerted effort by my boyfriend to completely break my brain, I present to you:

22 Messages From Creationists To People Who Believe in Evolution

Let's go through some of them, shall we?


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This one seems innocuous. That's probably actually something Bill Nye does think about, and I sincerely hope that his answer is 'Yes, yes I am!' Because The Science guy is maybe the best. Fine, whatever dude, we can ignore you, this is the least inflammatory thing I think I've ever seen on the internet.


Yup, that's what this is about, lady, fear! Nope, I've got a healthy respect for the big bearded dude in the sky, but I don't fear him. Kind of defeats the point of having a benevolent God, yea? Unless you're talking about Zeus - in which we are on the same page, that dude was scary. Also psycho. But something tells me you are not open to the idea of a divine creator other than your own idea of God.... Hmmmm..... Moving on!


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Oh good, we're getting into the realm of batshit insanity! Yes, yes it actually is completely illogical that the earth was created mature. Because if it really was "created", why the fuck would God put rings in trees? Is this like how He planted the dinosaurs to test our faith? I'm beginning to get the impression that God is like your really super needy ex - just doesn't know when to quit with the tests and the begging for attention and the intense need for validation.


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First, observe the smug look. Second, observe the WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK? Let's do a quick science lesson. Here is the second law of thermodynamics 'the entropy of an isolated system never decreases, because isolated systems spontaneously evolve toward thermodynamic equilibrium.' So basically if everything is kept completely separate from everything else, things won't change. They'll stay the same. Alright, fine, I see where he's going with this.... Oh wait, except for it to be true, things must be kept completely separate. They're not. This is Earth, buddy, we are all mushed together and interact, therefore THINGS CHANGE. Science: Ur Doin' It Wrong.


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Just.... wat? No. Go away, lady.


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MOAR HIPSTER CREATIONIST. See above, buddy. You're an idiot.


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It is at this point that my brain officially broke. Noetics is a branch of metaphysical philosophy 'concerned with the study of mind and intellect.' So basically she's trying to argue that because old Greek white dudes theorized that there could be a 'divine intellect', creationism is true and evolution is bunk.


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This one might literally be my favorite. Oh my god, guys, he thinks that people who believe in evolution also think that Ancient Aliens is a scientific documentary. I want to be his friend, if only to argue with him that the entire plot of Stargate and Stargate SG-1 is actually true, and was written by someone who used to work for Area 51 and wants to show the world the truth of what the Government is hiding from us just to watch his brain explode. Observe:

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Lastly on this trip through Crazy Town, I bring you their mayor:

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Pretty handwriting, completely bizzaro-world understanding of science.

I.... I am not sure how to deal with any of this. Sure, I knew some folks back at University that were into things like intelligent design, but I am boggled by the fact that people who believe these things actually exist. Don't get me wrong, I'm Catholic and believe in God, but I also believe that God gave us science so we could try to figure out the Universe, cause he's a cool dude (albeit with a nasty streak. just go read the Old Testament if you don't believe me. he was kind of a jerk.) who wants us to learn and grow and discover. Or.... he's just a philosophical concept created by humans to help them make sense of their own existence.

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He certainly did NOT just 'say BANG, and it happened!'

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