I hate holidays. Thanksgiving SUCKS. Yeah, I know, no, not really. I'm just feeling really lonely and sad.
I am going to be completely alone for Thanksgiving, and it's making me depressed. Asshole has the Bots and I have no family nearby, and I have no where to go and no one to be with and I have no friends and nobody loves me because I am a worthless human who is completely unlovable and I will be alone forever and I suck. (The fact that I know with my brain that the last part of that is not true does not negate the fact that my heart is absolutely CERTAIN of it.)
I tried to get a train ticket up to my brother's in NYC, but a) I would have to drive to DC just to find a seat that isn't sold out, and b) there's no way I can afford any of those available seats. So, no. That's not happening.
And all my hint-dropping around people I know and who should give at least a slight shit has come to naught. Which just makes me feel worse. If you don't tell anyone it's your birthday then you can't feel sad because no one remembered. If nobody knew, I could comfort myself in the sure knowledge that I would have countless invitations. But I don't have that. Not that I would have been at all comfortable going to someone else's family gathering anyway.
I'm going to go have a good cry now, because this is all clearly depressed and self-indulgent crap, but I need to get this little pity party out of my system, I guess.
When I come back I'll talk about hats. I have things to say about hats.