Brought to you by Thought Catalog, obvs.

Some young thing over at Thought Catalog has done us the favour of writing something so dumb that I can no longer see what I'm typing because my eyeballs are on the floor somewhere.

To paraphrase, “guys, my life is so hard because I’m a special unicorn and my friends don’t understand how hard it is so I have to lie to them about things they don’t care about anyways."

I started typing a response to her but there’s just so much wrong with it and I don’t know if I can do it justice. So let’s crowdsource the response.