I just got a very disgusting and toxic phone call from my mom. I've decided, even though it's October, I will not be going home for the holidays. This would be two years in a row for that.

It feels like it's not even worth seeing my family-and I love them dearly-if she's around to tell me, well, I'm not working hard enough. I don't want to go into all the details, it's too much.

I don't care if I have to spend the holidays alone. I'll miss the people I love, yeah, but it's just not worth it.

It hurts, that I have to make this choice so early. It'll be Hell when they react. I just can't. I'll miss my brother and sick grandmother the most.

Can't cry right now. I just put my mascara on. I have to tell myself it's going to be a good day. Thanks for listening.