Assemble, please.

Were you late? Early? Right on time? Was it vaginal? C section? Some other way(????)? Meds? No meds? Home? Birth center? Hospital? En route to a place? On a spaceship ?

If you were late... how late? And do you think anything in particular caused you to finally go into labor, if you did go into labor? Was your baby active until labor? Cause mine is seriously throwing a goddamn rave in my uterus and it fucking hurts.

Finally, will I ever have is goddamn baby? Or am I gonna have to enroll in kindergarten in five years cause this goddamn kid never left the womb?

Signed,

Five days late pregnant lady.

Give me all your food. Thanks.

P.s. Please tell me I’m not horrible for bringing life into this godforsaken shit stain of an excuse for a country that regularly elects fucking DUMBASS, USELESS, RACIST ABUSERS.

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