Guys! Guys. You like okcupid stories, right?
I've been on three dates since I started. Date 1 was dull. Date 2 was fantastic (Hot Bearded Guy mentioned in a previous post). I have never met anyone with a sense of humor more dry than my own. Date 3 was concerning.
Date 3 seemed like a fun, personable guy via chat, so I met him for a drink. I thought it was a bit strange that he asked for more pics of me over text. Obviously this should've been a red flag, since in retrospect he was asking for nudes? I sent him a comically bad selfie of me without makeup and with crazy bed hair holding my cat. How the date progressed:
1. He kept complimenting me; he'd bust out a non sequitur about my appearance every so often. That's all fine, I guess; excessive, but nothing too weird. A little strange that he complimented "the shade of lipstick" I was wearing.
2. It got weird: "What color are your eyes," followed immediately by, "Do you normally keep your hair like that?" followed by, "How tall are you?" With every answer, he nodded, as if he were checking off an internal list.
3. Throughout the date, he was fixated on my romantic past (with an uncomfortable, lecherous interest in my bisexuality). He asked a lot of questions about my okc dating history, and about who I was going on dates with later in the week. He asked how my previous dates compared to him and how many messages I get a day. I'd change the subject, and then twenty minutes later he'd ask for more details about my ex; what kind of guy he was, what he looked like physically…
4. Early in the date, he grabbed my hand and studied my ring, and then said, "That was just an excuse to touch you". Later, he grabbed my hand and began to massage it. I noticed later that he clumsily began to mirror my body language, but he'd drank a bit by then so subtleties were out the window.
5. He alluded to us having a future relationship. Like, "I'll take you down to my friend's beach house this summer". I asked him how he'd spend his money if he won the lottery (I'm bad at dates), and he said that he'd do whatever it takes to make me happy. When I asked where he'd travel if money were no object (again, bad at dates), it was "where would you like to go".
6. So, I was starting to get creeped out, he began to check out my body every time I shifted or moved. I tried to stop moving so much?
7. I decided to call it a night. He hugged me and I heard him kiss my hair.
All in all, it ended up being pretty uncomfortable, to the point where I made sure he didn't follow me home. Dude is totally making a doll of me right now. I kind of feel bad for him, since he is obviously pretty lonely, but wow. It was intense. I am just a slightly soft, totally average-looking lady.
On another note, Date 2 and I had plans for a second date that he canceled at the last minute and I'm really bummed out about this. There was a definite instant connection. It was the best date I'd ever been on; we had tons of shared interests and complementary senses of humor. We made each other laugh all night. At one point he said something like, "I never thought I'd meet someone on OKCupid", and when he walked me to my car he kissed me (unf), and we basically made out in the parking lot for five minutes. But, since he canceled he hasn't made any follow up plans. I'm holding on to a bit of hope because 1) he was really bad at texting in a timely manner before our first date, and 2) he mentioned that he was going on a trip overseas the week after our date. I feel like I'm edging into Date 3 level of patheticness since its been a week since he canceled, and probably he just isn't that into me.
I haven't been getting many reasonable messages lately on OKC. Most of them are "hi" or "hi beautiful" (gross), and I really only respond to someone if their message indicates that they've read my profile. Maybe this a bad strategy, but I'm obviously looking for something with some substance and I'm willing to wait to find it (this is why I've had exactly one previous relationship, and it lasted seven years). Maybe OKC isn't the right site for me. So, no future dates planned yet.