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Welcome To The Bitchery

There was this girl I dated off and on from my senior year of high school through my second year of college. "Dated" isn't really that accurate, since we broke up halfway through the fall semester my sophomore year. I didn't manage to get her out of my system, though, until I started dating my wife (how do you phrase that? The grammar makes it seems like she was already my wife when we began dating). It was a toxic relationship from the beginning, but the combination of my major self-esteem problems and the fact that the sex was awesome. It's pretty amazing what someone will be willing to trade for good sex. The following songs contain at least one line that perfectly summarizes what it was like to be in a relationship with this girl:

1. Audioslave: "What You Are"

Most significant line: "And when you asked for a light, I set myself on fire"

They Might be Giants, "Cyclops Rock"

Most significant lines: "Gotta find a new place to hang out, cause I'm tired of living in Hell,"


"You were sweet, like lead paint is sweet, but the aftereffects left me paralyzed"

The Offspring, "Self Esteem"

Most significant lines: "The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care," which pretty well summarizes her attitude toward love. Actually, it's the whole song. It's like it was written about our relationship, although the other guys she slept with weren't friends of mine. Oh, and this song came out 4 or 5 years before I even met this girl, so it's not like I wasn't warned.

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