Article So I was reading Cracked, as one does when bored, and they had one of those "everything you're doing wrong" articles about child-rearing.
What mainly struck me is the part about time outs. It says that they are bad because children will just be defensive instead of really reflecting on their behavior, and that withholding parental interaction as a punishment is wrong. Instead, you need to be there, talking with your kid about how to act. That section of the article concludes by saying that you don't want to send the unintentional message that you only want to be around your kid when they are being good.
Really? I disagree. As kids, my sibling and I were sent to our rooms when we were angry, fighting, riled up, and loud. We were sent away so everyone, parents included, could have a break, cool off, and calm down. After we were all in a better frame of mind, the issue wasn't dropped until we had all talked it over, the offenders apologized, etc. Perhaps a time out with no follow-up discussion afterwards is pretty pointless, but I think that follow-ups are standard practice and that a cooling-off period can be good for all involved.
But this isn't just about defending time outs, because maybe they don't work for everyone. Maybe there's a better way. Maybe you and your family do something totally different and it works for you. Great!
My main point here is that I don't think it's bad to teach your kid that nobody, not even you, wants to spend time with them when they are being a little shit. It doesn't mean you aren't willing to have the hard conversations once they've calmed down. It REALLY doesn't mean you don't always love them. But I was taught growing up that if you are obnoxious during games, no one will want to play with you. And if you are a brat who demands things, no one will want to help you. When you act like a jerk, people don't like being around you. That's just life!
Thoughts from kid-having people?