I am apparently having trouble responding to individual replies, so this is a general thank you to all who left a reply on my post last night. You are all so kind and have many helpful suggestions :) Thank you, GT.
One small update: Other-Husband will actually be moving in with Husband to help take care of things, and Oldest’s girlfriend is also moving in (Oldest is unavoidably away for several months). Husband will have people there with him soon. I feel marginally less guilty knowing that there will be people who love him there to help. I’ll be here when I can, and when I can’t, they will be.
IF we decide to move back, it would be at the end of the school year, and that will be a decision that will be made by everyone, including the kids. Right now, we’ll just keep going along as planned.
Again, thank you all. I read all of your responses many times. Your kindness and support really, truly helps.