Look, I hate myself for writing this a little bit. Because I know that's exactly what you want me, and a whole bunch of other people, to do. Based on the title of your recent mini-essay, which has gained traction among a goodly chunk of my mom friends (I Look Down on Young Women With Husbands and Kids and I'm Not Sorry), and other mini-essays (I Use My Sexuality to Get Ahead at Work; When It Comes to Women There Is No Equality Gap There's an Ambition Gap; and Here's How to Cheat Proof Your Relationship: Stay Attractive), your ambition seems to be to become a sort of Ann Coulter of feminists. I don't know if you want a book deal, or a column, or if you want to be a talking head on some 24-hour news network when they want to shock people, but you're gaining a bit of attention with this recent article (which has already received at least six responses, some of which look terrible, others reasonable and even-keeled), so I feel like I need to turn my eyerolls into something substantive. I need write something to try to inspire other people to turn their anger into eyerolls.

You're that girl who sat behind me in science class in 6th grade pulling my hair. When I didn't respond to her pulling a lock of hair, she would start pulling strands, making it harder and harder to ignore. Her name was Erika, and she was terrible. But even at 11, I figured something out pretty quickly: Erika was looking for negative attention because she had her own shitty stuff going on. And even in my egocentric tweeniness, I realized that what she was doing had absolutely nothing to do with me, so my anger turned into a kind of pitying annoyance. That's sort of where we are right now, Amy. Because through all your waxing poetic about backpacking through Asia and landing a dream job, your immature, obviously privileged world-view is not something I can take seriously. No one should take it seriously, mainly because I don't think you've thought about it especially hard. (You certainly haven't considered the topic outside of your own socio-economic strata or personal reality.) Your essay has no nuance—it's a bunch of angry, hackneyed quips intended to prey upon the insecurities of those whose lives to not line up with your own. I really don't feel I have to go through the task of pointing out the the myopic limits of your imagination in regard to that which is and is not possible married or with kids, but your ridiculous and narrow concept of ambition is something I feel compelled to point out, because you're (unfortunately) not the only person to view ambition as being exclusively through an upper-middle class, capitalist lens.

And so, all people who are not Amy Glass: please stop talking to Amy Glass.