Yesterday was the first day I regretted my decision. It would have been easier to be still together at this event. Even though I never saw him, I was anxious as hell hoping I wouldn't and interacting with mutual friends, waiting for him to appear any second. I called my sister and bawled on the phone afterward, and then I woke up again today and bawled again, and I am in bed watching movies.

I want to be sure, and okay, but it's only been a week and a half. I'm in that crappy place where I want him to be as sad as I am, and I have no word for him or any indication that he is sad. I mean, of course I don't - but I know I'm sad and very angry. I've been advised to go with that today. Is that okay?