Today I had plans with my Mom that have been in place for over a week. It was nothing important but we were going to run some errands and go to Ulta because we both have gift cards from Christmas. We went to drop my car off so it could be repaired and then to Ulta. I paid for my stuff and suddenly realized I couldn't find my Mom so I started walking around looking at more stuff because why not. She found me in the back by the hair products and made some comment about wondering where the hell I'd gone and that we needed to leave "immediately" and that "plans have changed" (we had a few other places to go and were going to grab lunch). She seemed super upset as we walked quickly to the car and I knew already what it was about. My brother. Something with my fucking brother.
We get in the car and she tells me she can't drive because she is too upset (I'm way prego and have been more comfortable as a passenger lately). She is snippy as fuck with me and tells me that my brother has been arrested for drinking. He goes to some program once a day to take a breathalyzer now that he is out on probation. He blew something that wasn't sober so they held him and he was calling my mom claiming that he had to be picked up by someone or he would be arrested. Sounded super fishy and I told my Mom so. She started to drive me back to the repair shop where I know my car repair wouldn't be finished and I'd be stuck sitting there. She asked me if I would be mad at her if she dropped me off to go pick up my brother. I didn't really know what to say. Like as an adult in this world I get her need to be a mother hen and help her son out but as her other adult kid I get pissed at the fact that we were in the middle of a planned day and she is dropping everything to go rescue her son. They exist in an extremely co dependent emotionally incestuous relationship.
So, I told her that I don't think she should go pick him up but that if she feels like she has to I get it. As we drove the more I thought about it (and sitting in the cold shitty waiting area at the repair shop) that I'd resent the shit out of her if she dropped me off and went to him. I brought up again that she is trying rescue him and she shouldn't. She said that if she didn't go pick him up he would be revoked off his probation and go to jail for three years so she HAD TO. Um no, he got drunk and acted like a dumbass and anything that happens after that is no ones fault but his own.
She dropped me off at the shop and came back fifteen minutes later saying she changed her mind and realized how shitty it would be to do that. That she made a quick tally in her head of the things she has done for my brother in recent memory and compared that to things she has done for me and her husband. Apparently one list was way longer than the other.
I'm so relieved that she came back. It did put a weird vibe on our day out because she was then preoccupied for much of the rest of the day (with phone calls mostly) but overall it was okay. At least she didn't run to rescue him. My brother got arrested. I feel like this was a step in the right direction for her and I wouldn't say I'm proud but just don't feel kicked to the curb as I've historically felt.