And I only realised it later.

I didn't mean to say something that might at all be racist, as I presume most people don't, but after looking back on the conversation I realise that it was a bad thing to say.

For a while now boyfriend and I have noticed groups of men staying in our apartment building that really had no reason to be there. Every week a different group, speaking a different language. We assume someone has been AirBnB-ing their place in our building but we don't know if it's a 'we are on holiday so why not bnb it' or a 'I have this apartment I'm BnB-ing to make a shitton of money'. So I ran into this couple on the elevator. They were speaking english and the man had a large suitcase. I blurted out "Hey can I ask you something? Are you guys tourists?" to which he replied "No. Are you?" At the time I figured that since I was trying to figure out who was airBnBing their apartment, he was probably doing the same. So I responded with a "oh no, just from here". He asked if I was dutch then so we continued in dutch and he told me his girlfriend was from the philippines. I casually mentioned how we have a lot of different nationality's here, my friend is Iranian, so is another couple, there's a spanish couple on our floor and so on. And he said "And philipene and chinese, oh I/we (don't remember) know."

Then we were both outside and said have a good day. As I walked on to the gym I suddenly realised how this looked. The blond white girl asking the poc if they were tourists. I feel like SUCH a douche. I wish I could apologize, they live in my building but since there's 12 floors above me, I could easily never run in to them again. I hope I do so I can apologize :/


And on another note, todays therapy session we talked about what feminism means to me, how discussions with boyfriend make me feel like he doesn't take me seriously/respects my point of view. How I see talks about social issues as a way of becoming closer or sharing viewpoints whereas boyfriend is more of a discussion with a winner and he can use some dirty tricks to win. Also how I feel a bit bad about how I look and that he needs to be more supportive of me in a 'when you talk bad about yourself that makes me worried because I love you and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself' instead of the 'well go to the gym then if you're bothered'. Good talk.


How are you all doing on this fine monday?