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Today in bizarre exchanges

I just went to the post office to pick up my new boots and had the strangest experience.

I live in a very small town about 30 minutes outside of a bigger city. I work in the bigger city and due to the nature of the industry I work in, a lot of people pass through my office regularly and I become familiar with them. As I was walking toward my PO box, I glanced out the window and saw another car pull up. A man I know through my work got out of the car. His name is Earl and he looks like this guy (anybody else remember the Amanda Show fondly?):

Huh, I thought. I didn't know Earl lived in [Small Town]. I was kinda nervous because this man is notoriously unfriendly. Not necessarily mean, just silent and a bit cold. I was hoping he wouldn't recognize me out of context, or if he did, he'd just ignore me.


Uh, nope. AS SOON AS HE STEPPED IN THE DOOR, he turns towards me unlocking the lockbox to grab my boots, and says

"What church do you go to?"

I'm thinking he's probably wondering why I seem familiar

"What church do I go to? Uh..well, I'm from [place of work], that's where you know me from."


"Oh. Well, I have a question...how long has it been since you read the Bible?"

Oh, fuck. This conversation just took an unpleasant turn. "Haha, well, I guess it's been a while," I said breezily, rushing to grab my boots and make a quick break for it.


"Well now that you're older you really should read it. It's got a lot of really great stuff in it."

"Haha yeah okay I'll have to check it out sometime." At this point I've got my boots in hand and I'm practically running towards the door. He intercepts me, GRABS MY ARM, looks me straight in the fucking eyes and says


"You should read the New Testament. It's shorter and more to the point."


I ran to my car and basically WHAT THE FUCKED all the way home. I just texted my boss (I think she knows him personally somehow), "I just crossed paths with Earl in the [small town] post office and he proselytized about the Bible to me. So traumatized I may need a mental health day tomorrow" and got an LOL back.


In other news, the boots are adorbz and look great. So excited to have something to wear once the weather turns colder.

How's your Sunday afternoon/evening going?

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