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Today in Shopping While a Woman

Illustration for article titled Today in Shopping While a Woman

Today I was at a warehouse store with my husband. The type of store where you can buy ground beef and motor oil at a decent price if you're willing to buy in bulk.


I had just finished lunch so all I really wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed. Instead I was there, dodging other people's kids, gathering food for my kids.

Since it was the middle of the day on a Saturday, every aisle had at least two sample carts. I avoided most of them since I was one bite away from a food coma. There was one cart giving out coffee samples. Cool! Something warm to keep me awake. Score! I got the last sample!


I stepped to the side of the cart to add creamer to my coffee. I heard the woman running the cart say "I'm sorry sir. We're all out for now"

I felt someone grab my ass. Awe. How cute. My husband grabbed my ass. Then confusion. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a strange man hurrying away.


I turned around and realize my husband is several feet away.

"Honey, did you just grab my ass?" "No...why?"

Sigh. I can't even get a free cup of coffee, in a public space, with my husband, without risk of getting groped.

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