I'm being fired. I've never been fired before and I didn't actually do anything wrong/inappropriate/unethical. I've always performed well, gotten along with nearly anyone in any role, and even the bully boss I had at another job couldn't deny that I have a knack for what I do.

So, what the actual fuck happened, GV? A series of unfortunate events. That's what happened. I ended up in a situation where doing a significant part of my job without a license would earn me serious consequences, showing up and refusing to do my job would get me fired with legitimate cause, and quitting would almost ensure that I wouldn't get unemployment. Firing me is the only way I can get out of a fucked up situation with at least a small chance of getting unemployment. They can't lay me off because they would have to cut my position and that would be stupid. I don't think I'm leaving on bad terms and I think they would re-hire me if I had the license. I don't think references will be a problem.

Now, I have new levels of fucked up with which to contend. Health insurance? Babydaddy and I are still legally married, so I'm pretty sure he can put me on his insurance and I don't think it will cost him anything (other than the wrath of his crazy gf). If not, then Medicaid. Not ideal, but most of my meds are covered (diabetes, PCOS, mental health). The two-month wait for medical and six-month wait for mental health are concerning, but worries I can take on later. If unemployment, then we don't have to move. If no unemployment, shitty apartment or possibly Mr GV's parents (I think I would actually prefer the latter). If no unemployment and Mr GV's brother has moved in with their folks because he lost his job a month ago, then proper fucked.

Did I mention Mr GV's mom has breast cancer and chemo is shitty and fuck cancer? Her husband has chronic pain going back to an injury in a car accident they had last November where he broke his neck and almost died. They're both very active and prone to overdoing it.

I'm also fucked career-wise because I can't do what I do without the license and the required application process that I can't start until I have a job will take a couple months. Who wants to hire someone who can't start the job for minimum two months? With my job history and references someone might, but how long will it take? Will unemployment carry me until then?

So, in the last five years I've been laid off twice, had two stints of unemployment that lasted at least six months, and I can add getting canned to the list. I've also been bullied by a woman who probably has early-onset dementia due to meth use, lectured about sacrifice by a middle-aged man of all the layers of privilege, and I have some secondary trauma scars.

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I have some ideas about possible solutions, but I'm trying not to think too far out right now. I'm a planner by nature and Mr GV has been very helpful in getting me to shrink my timeline down some so I can deal with getting through each day. (If I could get him to develop a sense of time we'd be unstoppable.)

The good part? Little GV reaps the benefits of mom being home and I get to see my critter more. I won't lie, though, I'm more than a little scared. Though I can usually dwell fairly comfortably in ambiguity, this is different.