He didn't object at all when I spotted a zombie garden Gnome in the 75% off Halloween bin at the grocery story and informed him that he was buying me one. (It's the one on the right, which was on my wishlist.) I also sent him the following text today from the other end of the house and he showed up in under two minutes:

Paging Major Dickens. Major Dickens, please meet your party in my pants. Major Dickens to your party in my pants.

(This goes with our military theme of me calling him Rear-Admiral Rubbins when he grabs my ass and me referring to his penis as Morale, as in "I see that we have raised Morale" and "the making out will continue until Morale improves.")

This is all to say that my boyfriend is awesome because I do shit like this and he thinks it's adorable. I mean, he realizes that it's adorable.

What is the most ridiculous way that you have summoned a booty call?