I’m going to spend it in bed being sad and angry and disappointed.

I spent my day at work yesterday compulsively refreshing the Orlando’s victims list, keeping track of how many names were added since the last time I clicked refresh. It was overwhelming, seeing all the names like my own name, checking on my family, learning that over half the victims were Puerto Rican.

I am a mess. Lately I’ve been seriously considering opening up about being bisexual. I’ve never told anyone. I’m in a monogamous relationship with a man so I can’t really do anything about it, but I wanted to at least let him know.

I feel so let down by my friends. I’m heartbroken and the most response from them I’ve seen is arguing about why it isn’t the “largest mass shooting” with a crassly tacked on “yeah it’s sad and all, but...”

I go fucking hard for their issues and this is the reciprocity I get? I understand that people are naturally going to give more fucks for issues that directly impact their own lives, but goddamn.

Just fucking sad. And disappointed. But very grateful for my small pool of good friends. Very small pool.