As I was walking to the bus after work today, I passed two teenage boys going the opposite way. A second later, I heard one of them ask the man walking behind me, "Hey sir, is that your girlfriend?"

"Who?"

"Her." Though I couldn't see the boy point to anyone, I was the only "her" in the vicinity.

"No."

"I was gonna smack her ass."

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So the only reason you didn't was because you thought another guy would get pissed off at you. Lovely.

(Side note: As I was deciding whether to pass on the street side of them or between the kid and a bush, I thought, "They're just kids. Stop worrying so much." STOP PROVING MY POINT.)