Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

Today's Gummi: Haribo Frogs

Greetings from the Secaucus headquarters of The Gummi Research Institute, Gummi Nation! After the rather dispiriting debacle that was our research on Haribo Tropifrutti, we here at TGRI are much heartened to report far more positive findings on our current subject, Haribo Frogs, about which we have come to some conclusions which, while not entirely scientific, are indeed definitive, namely:

Illustration for article titled Todays Gummi: Haribo Frogs

1) the twin gummi flavors, kind of an appley-green gummi for the backs of the gummi frogs and a creamy vanillin gummi for the soft white gummi underbelly, are quite distinct and yet meld beguilingly together, somewhat of a Creamsicle effect, wherein orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream bring out a higher level of profundity together than either could on their own;

2) the gummi textures are similarly distinct, and, once lasered apart, our staff went nine for nine in telling which gummi was which. The green gummi frogbacks are very much textured in the mold of the traditional gummi, much like gummi bears, gummi worms, etc., with a good medium level of gummi toothbounce. The white gummi underbelly is thicker-textured, creamier but more resistant to the teeth, with an almost hardened-foam quality, and the commingling of the two gummi textures in the mouth makes for a wonderfully multi-layered chewtime experience; and


3) there is a gummi elegance and a quiet gummi simplicity here, an understated gummi sophistication. The gummi flavors pop, the gummi textures meld, and overall one is left with little choice but merely to admire the distinction of fine gummi craftsmanship, artisinal gummiwork at a very high level.

Final Gummi Grade: A. A deceptively simple, sneakily complex expression of the gummicrafter's art. Very well done, a benchmark gummi.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter