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Illustration for article titled Todays Gummi: Haribo Peaches

Inspired by a tip from MitsubeShe, I went in search of a new gummi experience in the form of Haribo Peaches. After extensive testing in laboratory conditions (assuming your laboratory is kind of a messy place with a lot of cats lounging around), I have reached some conclusions that, while not entirely scientific, are indeed definitive, namely:

1) the flavor is very pleasant and quite true to the essence of the candy peach; however, it is rather monotonal, lacking the duotonal mouthdance of, say, your gummi frog or gummi shark, where the interplay of twin gumminess enhances the whole gummi experience for the gummi end-user;

2) the texture leaves something to be desired—the gummi doesn't fight back with that chewy toothbounce that this gummi researcher finds important to the full gummi aesthetic; and


3) the sugar coating is, to my way of thinking, something of painting the gummi lily, unnecessary, oversweet and reminiscent of some of the lesser non-gummi candies, like those candied orange slices my grandma used to scarf down, in the dark days before the Gummi Awakening.

Final Gummi Grade: a solid B for some really nice peach flavor, possibly to be revised upwards if, as anonymous sources tell me, these make for great cocktails if left to soak in vodka for a few days.

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