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Today's Gummi: Haribo Wheels (Strawberry)

Illustration for article titled Todays Gummi: Haribo Wheels (Strawberry)

Greeting, followers of all things gummi! Funding here at the Gummi Research Institute is a little uneven, but we feel it important to keep the research results coming out to the public, so you can see that your tax dollars are being husbanded as wisely and as appropriately as the situation allows. We have no problem with complete transparency.


In that spirit, we present tonight's gummi, Haribo Wheels (Strawberry), about which we have come to some conclusions which, while not entirely scientific, are indeed definitive, namely:

1) the strawberry gummi flavor is simple, bright and straightforward. Not complex, but pleasantly rich and candied, recognizably honest and unassuming, tastes very much like other honest strawberry candies like Red Whips or Nibs;

2) the texture is a little more problematic, thought the wheel shape is interesting and unusual. In theory these could be unrolled and consumed in a more licorice-like fashion, but the consensus of the staff here is that they were made as wheels and should be consumed in good faith as wheels, and so we do. But there's little of gummi here, no toothbounce; the teeth sever the wheelrims into little bits, and in little bits they stay in the piehole, chew as one might. A certain severity in texture is somewhat lamentable; and

3) overall, this is a fairly pleasant candy experience, but these wheels don't really belong to the gummi family, there is very little of gummi technology at work here. It's an amiable experience, but somewhat outside our realm of examination, so we, as when we were children with never a crack in our heart, mostly pass.

Final Gummi Grade: B, for pleasant flavors and interesting, if ungiving texture. Licorice fans, delight, gummi fans, ride on.

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