Once upon a time, in a dismal hellscape far far away, I was in a dysfunctional long-term relationship with a real dick bag. It turned out to be a costly mistake in many different ways, and for the purposes of this rant, let's just call him that.

I could go on and on (oh yes, I could) about the jerk that Costly Mistake was, and the things that he did, but at the end of the day, the details aren't that relevent. He was a dick, and I was a dunce for sticking around for so long (yahtzee?).

It was a very dark and shitty time, aaaand (this is where I'm going to lose some of you) I cheated. YUP. I'm a cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater. I cheated, got caught, and after lots and lots of screaming/manipulation/holes punched in walls, CM and I dissolved our horrible domestic union. This was 2010.

Since this dissolution, I have moved across the country, and CM has experienced every stage of grief via unwanted text/phone/email contact with me, culminating with a violent email in which he suggested that he would kill my family (a really unnerving gun obsession had developed in the final year or so that we were together). At that point, I forwarded our correspondence to his father (in the mental health field) and requested that someone with CM's best interests in mind step in so I would not have to contact the authorities. I heard nothing back.

Months later, he wrote a thinly veiled apology, still blaming me for his actions (not a new trick), but swearing that he was in a different place now, and that we should be in touch. I recognized this pattern right away, and decided that I did not need to respond to him. Ever again. And I didn't. Every now and then, he would send me something. Sometimes ragey, sometimes attempting to be friendly, but every time, I felt it was best to just not breath life into it with a response. I was really starting to believe that this ordeal was over, but today I received this little gem:

ScissorFight, Lately i have been wondering if we were ever going to speak to each other again. It's been almost 5 years and it seems elementary and infantile to hold lifelong grudges against each other. I don't care either way but I wanted to be mature about it and try burying the hatchet at least. You cheated on me and I said horrible things back to you and MrScissor on behalf of my temporary insanity that you caused. Nevertheless it's been years and lets move on. Or not. At the very least come out from hiding and make yourself and your intentions clear. We owe that much to each other I think.

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I just....I was having such a nice day, and now I'm feeling all of the rage. I don't even know what the point of sharing this was, but I feel like I am never going to be rid of this shit.